korean junk

There are some things that just can’t exist in healthy form. Kimchee fried rice is one of those things. I tried making a healthy version before, using brown rice and nitrite-free chicken sausage but it just wasn’t the same.

A good kimchee fried rice uses a liberal amount of spam. The thing is, a few months ago I had sworn I would never eat spam again. I had discovered this old can of spam in my fridge. The fat around the ring of the can had gotten all moldy, but the spam itself still looked normal. “Dude, even mold doesn’t eat this stuff,” I thought, “I probably shouldn’t be eating it either.” So I vowed never to eat spam again.

Well today I broke that vow. I had the fattest craving for kimchee fried rice, and having found a can of spam in my cupboard (sealed), I proceeded to fry up the kimchee and spam, then added rice and scrambled eggs to it, and a bit of soy sauce. That’s pretty much all there is to it.

In general, if you want good results when cooking, you want to use the freshest available ingredients. Kimchee fried rice is funny in that if you want good results when cooking it, you actually want to use leftover ingredients. It’s best with day old rice, and it gets the best flavor from slightly sour kimchee, the stuff that’s at the bottom of a month old jar of kimchee. And then of course there’s spam. I really don’t know what spam is, and I probably don’t really wanna know, but I imagine it’s some concoction of random leftover meat parts and a whole bunch of salt and fat jammed into a can. So yea, anyways, kimchee fried rice is best when it’s a random assortment of leftovers. Really, the only thing fresh in my kimchee fried rice is the eggs.

If I thought really hard I could probably come up with some profound philosophical or theological concept that I could learn from this random assortment of leftovers. Perhaps someday I would even use it as in illustration in a bible study. But for now I’ll close with these words. It’s time to eat. The end.

Things I’m thankful for:

• Kimchee
• Leftover rice and spam, whatever spam is…