that guy

I feel like I have always kind of been THATGUY. You know who THATGUY is right? Oh, you don’t know about THATGUY? Well then, here are some examples of THATGUY in action.

  • I’m so bored tonight and all the cool people are already out doing stuff. I guess I’ll call THATGUY because I don’t wanna be alone… I don’t think THATGUY has a life, so he’s probably not doing anything anyways…
  • Hmm, I have this excruciatingly hard math problem that could take hours to solve. Hey THATGUY is Asian right? I’ll ask him, even though his work has nothing to do with math…
  • I went to this shady site which caused my PC to have this terrible virus that downloads this crazy unicorn porn. I really should go to GeekSquad to have this fixed but I’m too embarrassed and anyways I’m too cheap to go there. I’ll ask THATGUY to clean my computer up for me. When he asks me what happened to my computer I’ll just shrug and say, “I don’t know,” which makes THATGUY have to spend hours figuring out how to diagnose and fix the problem without corrupting your precious data…
  • I need help with my C++ class. I’ll ask THATGUY even though his work has nothing to do with C++ and he hasn’t taken a C++ class in like 10 years. THATGUY does some sort of work with computers so he must be nerdy enough to know this stuff…
  • Our group wants to organize this event, but no one wants to do the hard work. Hey THATGUY used to do that. Let’s ask him even though he hasn’t been in our group for months…
  • (THATGUY happens to randomly come up in conversation) “Hey I haven’t seen THATGUY in forever! I wonder how he’s doing?!” (Then the conversation moves elsewhere and no one actually tries to see how THATGUY is doing…) THATGUY randomly appears months later and everyone goes, “Hey I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you doing?”
  • Hey THATGUY likes to write right? I’ll ask him to proofread my 999 page dissertation about my boring research that even I don’t like reading and writing about.
  • I need to move 9827349832 humongous things 9987 miles but I’m too cheap to rent a U-Haul. Hey THATGUY has a truck and a hatchback. I’ll get him to move everything for me and I won’t even help him out with gas money.

I am obviously being facetious and of course I’m exaggerating big time. If there actually were a unicorn porn virus there would be no hope for the human race, and we should be wiped from the face of the earth.

I used to hate being THATGUY with a passion. Nowadays I don’t mind as much. And in truth, I’m just as guilty. I ask THATGIRL, the female version of THATGUY for random stuff all the time. Like I ask random THATGIRLs for clothing advice, or ask veterinarian THATGIRLs for free dog checkups because I’m too cheap to go to the vets. I’m sure we are all guilty of it in some way or other.

One thought on “that guy”

  1. 1. I had been using the word facetious all last week! It’s a good word.
    2. I’m sorry you feel like you are THATGUY. Maybe THATGUY was actually THEGUY because they couldn’t turn to anyone else to do it.

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